I did it....

I made it through the day with out eating junk. I am so proud of myself. I even went to the donut shop with my family, watched the football game and did this all enjoying the people around me, with out enjoying the food.

I kept water with me the entire time and took an apple to the donut shop. This worked out and I was able to stay strong. Yea Me!

So far so good....can I make it

I know that Jason is going to wake up in a few hours and we are going to take the boys to go and get donuts at Banburry Cross, were they have the most amazing donuts. They taste like a little piece of warm sweet goodness. Everything about them is perfect. So, what is a girl to do who was in tears last night about how she is spinning out of control on the weight war. I have decided that I will go and be with my family, food is such a big part of our lives, and I will enjoy listening to the conversations of my children, talk with my husband, find the joy in being with the people instead of the joy of eating with the people that I love.
I eat a good breakfast and I will keep my water with me at all time today. I have to get off the sugar high and it is today that it begins. Today I will find a new joy of being around food, the joy of the people. Wish me luck.

Why did I do this to myself?

So I just came home from a weekend of fine food and friends. I hop on the scale to see were it lies and i am suddenly stricken  with sadness and a pit of yuck in my stomach. It is not that this one weekend of pie eating fun made me feel this way, it is the long months that have passed by with me thinking that ever day I am going to start tomorrow. So what do i do I shovel in all of the food that I can to make myself feel better. Better, no it does not make me feel better. Tonight I feel the worst about myself that I have in a very long time. i feel like I cant even control my weight, am I that out of control in my life? I know that things have been a little hectic, and I have been skipping out on workouts, lets be honest I have been skipping out on weeks of workouts. with Work, school and wanting to stay in bed because it is cold I have really struggled. Not to mention that I can't seem to stay on top of anything these days.

So now that I have shared the problem, that i am at the heaviest that I have ever been and that I am now out of a healthy BMI for my size I need to find the solution.

1) I will work out for one hour everyday. I will make this a priority
2) I will ask myself "if I can eat that" before I put anything in my mouth. I will treat myself like I am a little kid and the parent at the same time. I know what I should and should not eat.
3) I will stop beating myself up for "messing up" I will continue to strive each moment to do better and stop waiting for tomorrow. That never comes.
4) I will document what I eat
5) I will always eat something good after I eat a not so great item.
6) I will remember that my health is important for my kids and me.

BUT DO I HAVE TOO

Yes Jaci, you do need to workout. Remember....

1) You have a bad heart

2) You have already had many TIA's

3) You are a ticking time bomb waiting to have a massive stroke- according to ER Doctor Know-it-all trying to scare me into taking better care of myself

4) You feel much sexier when you do

5) You are a mentally better person when you do (AKA: I don't yell at the kids)

6) You eat better

7) You feel better all round

8)  You can keep up with your kids

9) You go to bed on time

10) You start the day out with purpose

11) You  look younger

12) You don't have to wear spanks with everything

13) You can eat a treat and not feel it on your butt the next day

14) You can run the marathon you want to run

15) You have family history of obesity

OK, so I think I know what I need to do....go to bed early, wake up and drag my butt out of my warm bed and WORK OUT!