Today started out as one of those perfect mornings were everything seems to run so smooth. The baby slept in, I got my morning emails done, and I thought that I would reward myself with a ZUMBA class. I love going to these "types" of classes. You know the one were you dance around the room and in some strange way you feel like you are dancing in a club, or prepping to be on Dancing with the Stars. This "type" of class has always ALWAYS been a reward for me. I rairly make it to them, since they seem to only be for stay at home moms or well kept woman, because the only seem to fall in the time range of 9-11 am, you know the perfect time for "them".
Today I went and thought that I would have the time of my life. I walked into the room and started to warm up. Then the teacher walked in, a tan, chiseled size 2 teacher with a rack only a plastic surgeon could have provided. I stood up to get ready and there it was...me. I looked in the mirror at my body in motion, moving in a way that it has for so many years. I have always looked at myself in the mirror and for most of my life enjoyed what was looking back at me. Today, I did not. I felt horror, I felt as if I did not fit in with this "type". I refuse to let myself feel this way, for I know that I have a few lbs on me right now, but I had to have a strong self talk back to reality. I told myself of all the wonderful things my body dose for me and how it is strong, has children with ease, is rarely sick, always lets me push it to the limits.
I then went on to run 4 miles over lunch. Outside, without a mirror, or other to compare myself to. I had no tunes, and only the river and water falls to listen to. On this run I thought of nothing, just ran it was wonderful. Just me and my fabulous body. Thanks body for never letting me down, even when I am so critical of you.
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